The Healing of Small Groups
D. Ross Campbell, M.D.
The retreats of the Ministering to Minister Foundation are five days in length. This may seem like a long period of time to be together as a group. However, there is such a great deal to accomplish that five days would be totally insufficient without the healing of small groups. Small groups are able to bring about many positive changes in lives and relationships which no other form of healing can accomplish.
First, personal relationships develop within the small group process to a higher intensity in a shorter period of time than is possible in any other setting. As the group members share their lives together, and each person shares his and her feelings, especially pain and anger, a trust level rapidly develops.
This trust level then brings about many positive things. First, each person is able to verbally share his or her feelings of pain, anger, rage, grief, depression, and despair. Almost invariably this is the first time they are able to share these destructive feelings with another person, with the frequent exception of his or her spouse. Getting these crippling feelings out in the open is critical for emotional and spiritual healing. But over-ventilating these painful feelings to one's spouse without sharing them with any one else is unhealthy for the marital relation. Only in a small group setting can the appropriate handling of these feelings take place in such a short period of time. Only in this setting can a person in such pain and turmoil feel the safety and acceptance to share deep experiences with persons whom he has known for such a short period of time.
The trust level then allows each person to accept the advice and counsel of another person. Almost invariably, ministers and their spouses are so devastated from the experiences which brought them to the retreat that they have been unable to trust another person. They have usually be unable to share or discuss their agonies with anyone. They often feel that there is no person alive who understands or cares. Being able to share this pain and distress with persons who truly care is the critical first steps toward healing.
Next, as the group members understand the specific details of each other's tragedies, they are able not only to sympathize and empathize with each person in their experiences, but to offer practical advice. Who better to give counsel and advise than someone who has been there - who has walked the same path: someone who genuinely understands and cares. Only in a small group setting can this take place.
The small group experience also develops a trust which enables each minister and spouse to receive advice and counsel from experts in the areas where they are in most need of professional counsel. These experts include attorneys, psychiatrists, nutritionists, pastoral counselors, family and marriage therapists. The MTM Foundation provides these highly trained specialists at no charge to the ministers or their spouses. Within the small group setting of the trust and friendship, the ministers and their spouses are able to receive this input and counsel which otherwise would be difficult or even impossible for them to obtain.
Lastly, the bonding which the small group experience provides lasts long after the retreat. This has been born out many times. The six-month reunions and long term follow-up have verified that these new found friendships are deep and lasting.
The small group experience is a powerful means of helping ministers and their spouse to begin the long, difficult road to complete healing. It is a vital segment of the MTM retreat.
Ross Campbell is a member of the Board of Trustees of the MTM Foundation. Prior to his recent retirement, he directed the Southeastern Counseling Center in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and is Associate Professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry at the University of Tennessee College of Medicine.