Minister's Support Group:
An available resource for ministers in crisis
Charles H. Chandler, Executive Director
Support groups are a common part of many communities in our culture. Many newspapers list meeting dates, times, and places for community groups. In these listings, you will find a diversity of self-help groups which have a common cause or issue as the glue that holds the group together. That homogeneity provides undergirding love and friendship to those facing a common pilgrimage. From such societal precedents come Ministers' Support Groups. Incidentally, the term 'support' has nothing to do with finances.
While writing a book on Minister's Support Groups several years ago, I determined eight things that such groups can do. A Minister's Support Group . . .
Helps develop a deep fellowship. I'm referring to the New Testament concept of koinonia. Fellowship cannot be contrived, nor can it be developed without sharing time and experience.
Helps produce a sense of "belonging." This was one of the major reasons for developing most of the support groups in which I have participated during the past 27 years. Moving is always bitter-sweet. You put your roots down one at a time but when you move, you pull them up all at once. Everyone needs a group in which he or she feels a sense of belonging.
Helps participants gain a different perspective. This is particularly important when a minister is in the midst of conflict with his or her congregation or with the church's leadership. A group with which to "brainstorm" or from which to gain feedback can be priceless. It often enables ministers to work through issues which otherwise might overwhelm them.
Enhances leadership confidence. This is especially helpful to younger or inexperienced ministers. Many times I have used my support group to "try out" some ideas and let the group help me find the weaknesses as well as the shape of the concept.
Helps participants get in touch with their feelings. Ministers often lead toward denial. Though this quality can enable the minister to face major challenges in leadership, it can also encourage one to begin to insulate oneself from his or her feelings.
Provides affirmation and confrontation in a healthy way. There are times when you do not need advice. You simply need to know that someone cares. An overload of affirmation is not healthy nor is an overload of confrontation. But a balance of the two can help enhance your self-esteem and help you to face your own responsibility.
Helps reduce the competition between ministers. Trust builds as you risk your vulnerability with one another. As koinonia develops, mistrust and fears fade and so does the competition.
Encourages longer tenures. With a sense of belonging, a group with which you can be open and hones, knowing they will both affirm and confront you, a new freedom emerges. With such an asset, ministers are more prone to work through issues in their parish settings than to "up and run" every time a problem surfaces or conflicts develop.
Many ministers have stated that their support group enabled them to face opposition and work through it. Others have stated that their support group was the difference between sanity and insanity as they experienced forced termination. Healthy ministers and healthy churches work through issues rather than adopt more destructive alternatives. Health breeds health just as churches which force the minister out are prone to repeat the process. A Minister's Support Group could mean the difference.
The amazing thing is that a support group is available to anyone - a priceless asset at your fingertips. And it's free! The only cost is time. That's a small price to pay for better emotional - and sometimes physical-health.
If you have not had a support group experience, I hope you will consider it . . . for your health and the health of the church.