Healthy Transitions Wellness Retreats: the Center-Piece of the MTM Ministry
By Charles Chandler, Executive Director
They had traveled several hundred miles to participate in a five-day Healthy Transitions Wellness Retreat. Upon arrival, the couple quietly discussed the possibility of turning around and returning home. The thought of "opening up" before a group of people was very threatening!
Almost 100 percent of the ministers and spouses attending one of our retreats arrive in a warped condition. Forced termination does this to God’s chosen messengers. They come with zero trust level, low self-esteem, shattered self-confidence, feelings of failure, guilt about their spirituality and an enormous amount of anger.
The anger is often suppressed because they have been "conditioned" that Christians do not get angry. In addition, they feel isolated and lonesome because most of their church members have withdrawn for various reasons and their colleagues in the ministry are reluctant to associate with a "loser." These ministers and spouses do not like to be reminded of their vulnerability and many do not know how to relate to it. Our retreats are designed to address all these life issues.
Actually, each retreat develops its own personality. There’s room for flexibility. There’s time for everyone to work on a personal problem and also be an encourager to a fellow group member. The problem solving techniques of small group dynamics are embraced. Usually, eight to twelve people attend a retreat.
Retreats conducted June 28-July 2 at Samford University in Birmingham, AL; July 5-9 in Dallas, TX, and July 12-16 at Carson-Newman College in Jefferson City, TN were classic examples of diversity. The participants came from Alabama, Mississippi, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia. Some were still in their ministry positions and left the retreat with new perspectives and a new determination to face their conflict in a healthier way.
Most of them had already been fired or had resigned under pressure. Their concern was to find a new job -- either in another church or in a secular job to provide food for their families. Others were experiencing an additional loss. Forced termination produces a pressure too great for many marriages to survive.
In case you’re wondering -- the couple in my first paragraph who were discussing going home ran head-long into a winsome smile and hearty welcome from one of the retreat leaders who happened to arrive in the parking lot at the same time. Well, they decided to stay for the first day and then decide if they would stay for the second. They repeated this process but on the last day, reluctantly bid "farewell" to the other participants and the leaders. As they headed home, their spirits were renewed, their countenance was lighter and the long pilgrimage called healing had begun.
During the past four and a half years, 224 persons have participated in 22 Wellness Retreats. These, "our graduates," are among the first in their area to reach out to ministers experiencing conflict in their church position. Having "been there and done that," these people have a unique ability to minister. Thus, our ministry cycle continues.