We have Overlooked the Gift of Listening
By Edward B. Bratcher
God has offered us the gift of listening — listening to God and to one another. Unfortunately, many of us have overlooked this great gift. As a pastor, I have found in more than 50 years of learning from myself and others that we have done and continue to do great harm to ourselves and to our calling by our neglect of listening. We have replaced listening to God with activism and listening to one another with words of advice and "support."
The Bible records passages such as, "Be still and know that I am God." Or again, "Come back and quietly trust in me. Then you will be strong and secure." We have the example of Jesus -- 40 days listening and also finding quiet places to pray.A tremendous change has taken place from the way we approached ministry some 40 years ago. We were committed, first of all, to correcting social injustices. Henri Nouwen wrote that many seminarians reasoned, "why should we spend so many hours praying when there is so much to do?"This strong emphasis on social activism was a double-edged sword. On the positive side, we moved from, "We are not interested in the social needs of our Negro brothers, only in their spiritual needs." This statement was made by a Baptist State Executive to a group of seminarians in the late 1940’s. But since then, we not only have worked for racial justice but also have apologized for the sins against our African American sisters and brothers.On the negative side, we neglected "listening" and thought that Spiritual Formation was a Roman Catholic endeavor ill suited to Protestants, and especially us Baptists. And, when so many ministers were facing burnout or seeking another vocation, we began to question our neglect of "listening." Individuals such as Glenn Hinson, author and theologian who is retired from the Baptist Theological Seminary at Richmond, VA, called us to "be still" and we are learning how to "quietly trust in God."Wayne Oates, former author, theologian and retired professor from the Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville, KY, legitimized Pastoral Care as part of the curriculum of theological education and an important dimension of the task of the minister. Interestingly enough, he was also the one who coined the word, "workaholic." Dr. Oates confessed for himself as well as ministers. We became workaholics — running from the hospital to the funeral home, from our counseling sessions to our discipling classes — giving answers but not hearing any of the questions. We were never "present." We did not have time "to weep with those who weep or rejoice with those who rejoice."Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the mid-20th century German author and theologian, said it all:The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His word but also lends us His ear. So, it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always "contribute" something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening.Anyone who thinks his time is too valuable to spend keeping quiet will eventually have no time for God and his brother, but only for himself for his own words and plans. (Italics mine) From Life Together, 1938.
Author and counselor, Dr. Bratcher is a retired Baptist minister. He resides in Durham, NC and is a member of the MTM Board of Trustees.