It's Time to Spend More Time Praying Than Talking About Prayer
by Charles H. Chandler, D. Min., Executive Director
It sounds odd, but often those who talk most about prayer seldom engage in the practice of prayer. This truth comes to light in church conflicts. Administrative boards, personnel or staff relations committees, and deacons talk a lot about the power of prayer. They usually claim they have saturated their decisions and recommendations in prayer and how God led them to the decision that critically wounds their minister and his or her family and leaves the church deeply affected for years. Most often, however, the decision was reached before the praying began. Prayer then became the scapegoat for less than Christian actions.
When a minister is blindsided by a "gang of two or three," the first response is shock. That's the first step in grief. Shock numbs us. God gave us built in shock absorbers. Life would be sometimes unbearable without the numbing affect. Shock gives way to a struggle with reality, depression, anger, desire for retaliation, loss of self-esteem, erosion of self-confidence, feelings of isolation, and perceptions of separation of God.
It is at this point that prayer may lose its meaning. Barriers appear that prayers cannot penetrate. A vibrant prayer life suddenly becomes an empty chamber. One person described his prayer life as an empty room. He went on to say, "Even the wallpaper is gone. I don't go in there much any more."
The trauma of church conflict often produces depression. Depression takes the heart out of life. It removes hope, and when hope is removed, there is no motivation to exert energy toward any goal. It is not the spirituality that is missing; it is the ability to feel. The emotions are so traumatized that the result is numbness. Again, it's the shock absorbers taking over. The pain might be so severe that it would deeply wound the person, perhaps fatally, if the shock did not override the emotional feelings with numbness.
That's where intercessory prayer comes in. When a paralytic could not go to Jesus, four men carried him to Jesus. They lowered him through the roof in order to gain access (Mark 2:3-5). There came a time in the paralyzed man's life when he had to be physically carried by others.
There comes a time in the lives of ministers and their families when they become spiritually numb and need to be carried spiritually through the intercessory prayers of others. Often this kind of prayer support will have to come from sources other than the church the wounded minister has served. Though there will be some individuals who are removed enough from the conflict to undergird the minister in prayer, the majority of the congregation will have been rendered ineffective by their own wounded state to feel God's love and presence. When mob mentalities develop, values and spiritual concerns are eroded.
The Ministering to Ministers Foundation has been involved in intervention of behalf of ministers as well as attempting to help them work through the pain and woundedness of forced termination for nine years. To date, 453 ministers and/or spouses have participated in one of the 46 Healthy Transitions Wellness Retreats for Ministers and Spouses. Most of these have traveled the long journey toward healing. Psychiatrists, Psychologists, pastoral counselors, attorneys, organizational health consultants, family system coaches, spiritual direction leaders, and ministers who have experienced the trauma of forced termination, have made a significant impact on the lives of those participants during the time of their greatest need.
Currently, we are adding another dimension to the Wellness Retreats - Prayer Teams. Jim Pardue, a new addition to the MTM Board of Trustees, has agreed to lead this emphasis by enlisting prayer team members to pray for participants during the weeks of retreats. The prayer team members will pray daily for the participants even though they will not know their names. The identities of the participants are kept anonymous.
Prayer team members are made-up of MTM trustees, participants in past Wellness Retreats, pastors and volunteer lay members. Just as many of the retreat participants are encouraged to follow up with individual or family therapy following the retreat, the prayer team members will be encouraged to continue to pray for the retreat participants after the retreats are over.
You are encouraged to seriously talk with God about being a retreat prayer team member. You can volunteer by calling (804) 320-6463, emailing mtmfoundation@comcast.net or writing 2641 Cromwell Road, Richmond, VA 23235 and giving your name, address, and e-mail address.
It's time for God's children to do more praying instead of just talking about prayer. It is also time to pray according to the will and nature of God for those whom He has called to be His messengers but have been wounded along the way. I'm convinced that prayer can change things.