Drawing Back, Drawing On Others
Robert D. Dale

Retreat—from a French word meaning, literally, ‘to drawback.’ The Gospels show us Jesus retreating regularly. Jesus’ life and ministry also demonstrate to us that retreat can happen anywhere—by the seashore, in the [...]]]> A voice from the past…
The Servant, Volume 1, Issue 1, July 1996

Drawing Back, Drawing On Others
Robert D. Dale

Retreat—from a French word meaning, literally, ‘to drawback.’ The Gospels show us Jesus retreating regularly. Jesus’ life and ministry also demonstrate to us that retreat can happen anywhere—by the seashore, in the desert, on the mountain’s top–as long as we offer ourselves to God for rejuvenation. Retreat isn’t a place – but an attitude.

In practical terms, retreat for us generally means to withdraw, to go to a safe place, or to seclude ourselves in order to think something through. We usually ‘retreat’ to refresh ourselves, to rest up, to ‘get our heads together,’ or—in the case of retreats with a specifically religious intent—to let our souls heal.

The retreats sponsored by the MTM Foundation intend to do ‘all of the above.’ Ministers and spouses who have experienced forced termination in ministry gather to get away from it all, to be cared for in a healthy community, to have their pain shared and interpreted, to find God in their ‘desert times,’ and to discover healing and renewal for both individuals and groups. I’ve had the privilege of serving on the staff of MTM’s retreats and watched in awe as God gave wholeness again.

The personal stories that follow chronicle hope and growth emerging out of disappointment and pain. Read on to learn more about how MTM has provided one needed resource for ministers who have been broken. It’s a resource for you as well as a resource you can help provide for other ministers like you.

Robert D. Dale is the author of To Dream Again: How to Help Your Church Come Alive, Pastoral Leadership: A Handbook of Resources for Effective Congregational Leadership, Leadership for a Changing Church: Charting the Shape of the River, and other books.

Spiritual Preparation For Conflict
E. Glenn Hinson

My earliest memories of anything are of my mother and father fighting–physically and verbally. Such memories constantly push me to steer away from conflict, to avoid it at all costs. My mother used to call me a ‘yes [...]]]> From The Servant, Volume 1, Issue 1, July 1996…

Spiritual Preparation For Conflict
E. Glenn Hinson

My earliest memories of anything are of my mother and father fighting–physically and verbally. Such memories constantly push me to steer away from conflict, to avoid it at all costs. My mother used to call me a ‘yes man’ because of my efforts to smooth the turbulence any time it came up, and she didn’t like ‘yes men.’

As a professor at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary for three decades, my modus operandi showed its weakness when fundamentalists gradually asserted control over the Southern Baptist Convention and its agencies. I began to sense a very particular calling to stand fast and speak out. At the time I happened to be reading Hannah Arendt’s The Origins of Totalitarianism, wherein she notes that absolutists seek first to take control by silencing people. Here I found myself having to face conflict head on. What did I do about it? How did I prepare myself for the trial?

First, I faithfully and deliberately continued the 45-minute morning walks which I began in 1970. They were soul saving and probably life saving. I can’t tell you exactly what I did on those walks. Sometimes I just walked. At other times I meditated on a text of scripture. Still other times I interceded for someone or about some concern. What I did didn’t matter so much as what resulted. I became collected. Spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical energies came together. I was present where I was and ready.

Second, I drew support from my own family and from the extended family which Church has become for me. Not just other Baptists, but persons of many other denominations, my Christian family–Roman Catholic, Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Brethren, Quaker, and dozens more–called to remind me of their prayer and support. One Methodist friend once told me I was on the prayer agenda of the General Conference of the United Methodist Church! It was important to know I did not stand by myself, but that the Church Universal stood with me.

Third, I kept a sense of humor. To do that, I learned not to take myself or what I was doing too seriously. Original sin–’to be as God’–easily takes over, and when it does, the load it places on you will crush you. As Peter reminds, ‘Cast your burden on the Lord; he cares for you.’ Translated in context, that means, ‘Laugh a little. Keep things in proportion. You are not in this by yourself.’

Glenn Hinson, now retired, was a charter member of MTM’s Board of Trustees and Professor of Spirituality, Worship and Church History at Baptist Theological Seminary in Richmond, Virginia.

We can survive it. But the pain that comes from a forced termination lies forever in the recesses of the heart. Perhaps it is because those who suffer the ecclesiastical abuse most often do so for no valid reason at all.

That was our case, and [...]]]> Forced Termination: A Forever Pain
Elaine Herrin Onley

We can survive it. But the pain that comes from a forced termination lies forever in the recesses of the heart. Perhaps it is because those who suffer the ecclesiastical abuse most often do so for no valid reason at all.

That was our case, and the result is a forever pain that even though it is now tucked away in some tiny crevice of our minds and our lives, it is yet there. And, after five years, it arises at some unexpected moment–much like those pains that accompany the bereavement of a loved one.

It was 1991 when the cruel axe fell upon my husband, Ed. He had left a significant state denominational position as we joined together in what we saw as an incredible opportunity of ‘missions’ in a small resort community. Both widowed, Ed had worked in home missions and I was a 14-year veteran of foreign missions. We were married while both were working with the Georgia Baptist Convention. With the newness of our married life, the call to go to the small church seemed to challenge us both, and satisfy the ‘missionary’ spirit so alive in both of us. Never mind that such a move necessitated a serious cut in salary–our faith was strong and we saw the potential in the young church.

For more than a year, things couldn’t have been better. Then seemingly from nowhere, we learned that a small power group didn’t want us anymore. Ed was forced to resign in January 1991. The church voted to give us six months’ severance pay, but stopped it within two months. They left us on a limb, and then cut that off.

God has been faithful, even though those who claim to be His people were not. And we now know much joy in the new church which we began two years later. Our new associations have enabled us to grow that fellowship, and the encouragement of the MTM Foundation has strengthened our purpose and held us to our divine call. We do not put our heads down in shame, as is so often the case; we do not deny the fate that befell us in that ministry.

But we will always share that forever pain.

Elaine Herrin Onley is a member of MTM’s Board of Associate Trustees. Retired now, she is living with her husband Ed in Alabama. Her full story is recounted in her book, Crying On Sunday, published by Smyth & Helwys (1994). Elaine first shared this note in July, 1996 in the Servant, MTM’s occasional journal.

That 22.8 percent of pastors have either been terminated or forced to resign – almost one out of four.

That 62 percent of forced-our pastors said the church that forced them out had done it before. And 41 percent of these indicated the church had done it more than twice.

That 43 [...]]]> Did You Know?

That 22.8 percent of pastors have either been terminated or forced to resign – almost one out of four.

That 62 percent of forced-our pastors said the church that forced them out had done it before. And 41 percent of these indicated the church had done it more than twice.

That 43 percent of forced-out pastors said a ‘faction’ in the church pushed them out, and 71 percent of those indicated that the ‘faction’ forcing them out numbered ten or less.

That only 20 percent of forced-out pastors said the real reason for their leaving was made known to the entire congregation.

These statistics are the result of a survey conducted by Leadership magazine. For more information, see ‘Forced-Out.’ Leadership, Volume XVII Number 1, Winter 1996, pp. 40-49. This note first appeared in Volume 1, Issue 1 of MTM’s occasional publication The Servant in July 1996.

Footwashin’ Christians
Roger Lovette

My pastor-friend called me with a heavy heart. ‘I just got back [...]]]> Footwashin’ Christians was the very first article to appear in The Servant, MTM’s occasional publication, back in July 1996. Maybe you’ve forgotten these moving words or maybe you’ve never read them. Not a problem; here they are again…

Footwashin’ Christians
Roger Lovette

My pastor-friend called me with a heavy heart. ‘I just got back from the saddest experience of my life.’ He went on to explain, ‘My good friend was having trouble in his church. It got to be a real mess. In desperation he killed himself. I just got back from the funeral. It was awful. What do you say? To his wife, to his kids, to his church, to his aged parents?’ I keep remembering his question: ‘What do you say?’

Ministering to Ministers Foundation was established because we have something to say. If you look carefully at our logo you will find that it clearly represents the mission of our organization. Jesus commanded his disciples to wash one another’s feet as he had washed theirs. It was a command to care, to serve and to look after one another. Footwashing was a menial task. In New Testament times it was servant’s work. Footwashing was undignified and messy business. Jesus called His followers to such a mundane task because somebody has to do it.

What do we say? We say to ministers, staff persons and their families we care about what happens to you. We say you are not alone and there is a place to call and someone who will listen and help. We are saying it does not matter how sticky or difficult the situation — there is hope. Our organization exists to serve the ministers who find themselves in difficulty. Sometimes ministers need legal advise, sometimes they need counseling or vocational guidance. Sometimes they simply need someone to pray or listen. But we exist to serve.

Many of our board members have been through difficult situations in churches. And we pledge our support to those who serve in the challenging and hard work of ministry. We will pour the water, we will hold the towel. We will kneel and we will wash the feet of those in need. Why? Somebody washed our feet and helped us start again. Because what we do for one another makes a difference, we are committed to quality ministry to ministers. Do you see now why our logo is so important? I keep thinking about that pastor who took his life. Things just got too crazy and he, in his confusion, did not know there were people who really did care. That’s our goal and our purpose. Service. Caring, Footwashing. Even for ministers. Especially for ministers.

Roger Lovette was a charter member of MTM’s Board of Trustees. He was pastor of the Baptist Church of the Covenant, Birmingham, Alabama in 1996, but has since retired and gone on to serve as interim pastor of seven churches (and counting).

Recently, I visited a dismissed pastor living in another state. He and his wife were in a state of shock. He received no severance. Now they were concerned about medical insurance, making the mortgage payments on their home and how they would [...]]]> When Pastors Are Forced Out, the Joy of the Gospel Is Dampened.

Recently, I visited a dismissed pastor living in another state. He and his wife were in a state of shock. He received no severance. Now they were concerned about medical insurance, making the mortgage payments on their home and how they would even buy groceries since their limited savings were fast evaporating. Ministers do not receive state unemployment benefits.

All of these pressures were in addition to the pastor’s wife being the sole caretaker for her elderly mother who is in the final stages of a terminal illness.

In their mid-fifties, and without the support of their denomination’s leadership, their hope was fading fast.

A few weeks later, I attended the worship service of that mission congregation from which that pastor was dismissed. The attendance was one-third of the number it had been three months earlier. Those people loved their pastor and they were never given a reason as to why the mother church dismissed him, and the mother church refused to let the pastor discuss any of the conflict with the mission church.

The Sunday I attended, the congregation was being introduced to a candidate that may become their new pastor – even though they are still grieving the sudden loss of the pastor they loved. The mother church and denominational leaders did not want to leave the pulpit vacant very long and take a chance on the mission congregation not being able to meet the mortgage payment on their new building. The mother church would become responsible since the mortgage is in their name.

In this scenario, the joy of the gospel was dampened greatly for the pastor and his family as well as the mission congregation. The mother church and denominational leaders pretended all was well and assumed that life would just move on as though nothing had happened. They assumed that because they considered the pastor their enemy that the mission congregation would see him as their enemy also.

The mother church and denominational leaders saw him as arrogant. The mission congregation saw him as a hard working and caring person who had reached out to a group of mostly unchurched people and mentored and loved them into a spirit of “community” that epitomized the Body of Christ.

The Sunday I attended, they went through the motions of worship. Their hearts seemed empty. As I left, I asked one of the greeters, “Where’s the pastor who used to be here?” He replied, “He left.” I asked, “Where did he go?” The reply was simple, “I don’t know where he is. There were some problems.” I then asked, “Is he okay?”  I was told, “Yes, he is in good health. He is fine.” There was sadness in his voice. I concluded that he, too, was grieving.

Is it any wonder that churches that dismiss their pastor in secret and without justifiable cause lose their influence both inside and outside the congregation? Even if there are problems, are solutions never a consideration? Is grace too old fashioned for consideration?

The Apostle Paul was right, there is a more excellent way (I Corinthians 12:31).